Missing my boy

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Permalink Reply by Beth Salvatore on August 5, 2011 at 3:52pm

I don't remember where I heard this but I was told that BMT is harder for the moms than it is for the soldiers! I can bet he is doing fine. My son leaves for BMT in 11 days and I find myself getting more and more teary & emotional every day closer. He is my oldest, as well.  I am naturally concerned about BMT in the heat that TX has been experiencing, but I know in my heart he will be watched over by fellow soldiers. It really hits me when I am tired and I've been especially tired as I've had to take on a p-t job, in addition to my regular f-t job, in order to afford plane tickets for both myself and my youngest son to fly to San Antonio for his BMT graduation in October but it will be worth it!

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Permalink Reply by Karen S on August 9, 2011 at 8:34pm

Thank you for your reply and I'm glad that I can now try and offer some words of advice. My son has been gone for 4 weeks now. I can't believe it. He's half way finished. His first phone call to me was absolutely heart-wrenching. He hated it and wanted nothing more than to come home. I felt completely helpless. Now, 4 weeks later, his attitude has changed dramatically. He now wants to stay and complete his career. Not saying that a part of him still wants to just forget the whole thing and come home, but he sounds much better.  As far as training in the heat goes, not to worry. He says if it's too hot they put up a flag and they don't exercise in the heat.

Beth Salvatore said:

I don't remember where I heard this but I was told that BMT is harder for the moms than it is for the soldiers! I can bet he is doing fine. My son leaves for BMT in 11 days and I find myself getting more and more teary & emotional every day closer. He is my oldest, as well.  I am naturally concerned about BMT in the heat that TX has been experiencing, but I know in my heart he will be watched over by fellow soldiers. It really hits me when I am tired and I've been especially tired as I've had to take on a p-t job, in addition to my regular f-t job, in order to afford plane tickets for both myself and my youngest son to fly to San Antonio for his BMT graduation in October but it will be worth it!

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Permalink Reply by Beth Salvatore on August 15, 2011 at 1:31pm

It's all just hitting me now. We had a huge going away dinner for him with many of his close relatives attending yesterday, and he swears in and leaves for BMT tomorrow morning. I'm having a really hard time concentrating on anything.

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Permalink Reply by Karen S on August 15, 2011 at 8:35pm

You will have a hard time. That was the first time in my son's 19 years he ever saw me cry. Ever. I wondered all day if I would cry in front of him. (I'm a strong person). But that day I wasn't. I just couldn't hold it back. I knew he had his doubts and I told him to make sure he does this for him and no one else. Oh, and one word of advice......Keep your phone with you at ALL times. Never leave home without it. You never know when they will call. It only took one time to learn that lesson. The first time he called was on a Sunday so I figured it would be every Sunday. The following week it was on a Saturday. I had gone down to the gas station real quick. I was gone for 10 minutes. I got back and had 21 missed calls from him. That quick he had tried to call me. I called him back and he only had 5 minutes to talk. Now my phone goes EVERYWHERE with me. They get 1 phone call per week, usually only 15 minutes. Sometimes they get 20 or more minutes if they are good or do something good. The first week he was gone was real hard for me. It was the not knowing what he was doing, how they were treating him, what he was thinking and feeling, what time did he have to wake up, what time did he have to go to bed, what were they feeding him, was the food good, were they working him too hard physically......then when I was able to talk to him I felt much more at ease knowing everything I had been wondering. Another hard part was waiting for him to call once he touched down in TX. He had actually called me at 2am eastern time, the connection was bad. I thought I heard him say, "I don't have long to talk, my address is......" and that was it. I didn't get to even say anything. But I wish you and him lots of luck and you both will be fine. Please let me know when you hear from him.



Beth Salvatore said:

It's all just hitting me now. We had a huge going away dinner for him with many of his close relatives attending yesterday, and he swears in and leaves for BMT tomorrow morning. I'm having a really hard time concentrating on anything.

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Permalink Reply by Beth Salvatore on August 15, 2011 at 11:27pm

Thank you so much, Karen. I know that my son is ready and excited, which makes it easier for me. I will definitely keep my phone handy at all times! Thanks for the advice. I am concerned about his younger brother (15 years) as they are very close but I hope that he will talk to us if he's sad or upset at all. I will let you know when we hear that Ian is safe in San Antonio.

 

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Permalink Reply by Debra Reiling on September 6, 2011 at 1:39am

I can totally relate to your situation.  My youngest and only son just completed Basic and AIT.  He is home visiting prior to going to Germany.  We will not be together for some time when he leaves.  It has been a difficult and rewarding time for all of us.  I cried for two days when he told me he had decided to enlist.  Then I decided I couldn't cry anymore and this wasn't helping any of us.  I have tried to embrace his decision.  My sister-in-law said to me that she understands this is a difficult situation but where would we all be if people didn't step up to this calling for the rest of us.  That has helped me a lot.  

 

So I looked forward to his phone calls and letters.  I sent lots of letters and cards and then we (my husband, daughters, son-in-law and 2 grandsons) travelled to his graduation from basic which was a crazy time and too short but I will cherish it.  I was so proud of him.  He has moved from childhood to manhood.  

 

I would be happy to talk more with you anytime.  I will add you and your son in my prayers.  Stay strong and keep the faith.

 

Debbie Reiling

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on September 19, 2011 at 12:43pm

I guess I'm a veteran army mom as my youngest son joined for the first time at age 19 back in 2005. Reading your postings has taken me back to that time and the emotional turmoil I felt. Yes, I think every Mom of  a child who enters military service goes through much of the same feelings.  

 

After having served his original commitment including two deployments , my son decided to return home and attend college. After one and a half years away from Army life he realized that at heart he is an "American Soldier" and made the choice to again enlist .  Even after  having gone through it all before, I still felt the same emotions as I did the first time . I still wondered and worried how he was doing at OSUT.  I did have the benefit of knowing what to expect  but still missed him all the same!  I still felt the same intense pride at his second graduation as at the first.

 

Now my son is stationed in Europe and at times I miss him terribly and yes, a song or military  news story can cause the tears to well up.

 

Hang in there and always remember that America is the country it is because of  people like our "children"   who choose to honorably serve .

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Permalink Reply by Tonya on September 26, 2011 at 3:00pm

Oh how I remember that my son is over in Afghanistan now and I am a nervous wreck all the time of course he tells me he is fine and that he is strong and I know he is the best thing is for our sons to hear is that we are proud and to stay focused and strong and to take care of business and to come home safe.  

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on September 28, 2011 at 3:51pm

Hi Tonya:

 

Hang in there . My prayers are with you and your son.  I finally asked my son when his next rotation is "over there" and heard that it will be sometime next summer. Of course I have a good few months yet before my anxiety level kicks in to high gear but even just hearing of  their tentative deployment date was enough to get my stomach in a little knot. This upcoming deployment will be my son's ( and my   !!!)  third . While we at home don't face any of the threats our loved ones do,  it is still extremely difficult .  While our children were small, we did everything we could to protect them . It is now so hard to see them go off into harm's way.

 

You're right , it is important to keep a stiff upper lip , so to speak, when communicating with our deployed soldiers. I know my son really appreciated being able to speak to us and hear the news of home, and also to hear encouragement .   Remember you'll get through this!!!

 

Michelle
Tonya said:

Oh how I remember that my son is over in Afghanistan now and I am a nervous wreck all the time of course he tells me he is fine and that he is strong and I know he is the best thing is for our sons to hear is that we are proud and to stay focused and strong and to take care of business and to come home safe.  

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