I never expected to feel this way

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Miller on October 3, 2011 at 12:00pm

Melinda

Hang in there, what you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL!!!!!!!  We have all been there and felt the same way!!!!

The Airman you see at graduation in a few weeks will amaze you and make the entire rollercoaster ride completely worth it! Ask Questions, post them on the main wall under these discussions, there is a wealth of info here for you!!!

Oh and the whole going off to college thing...... um ..... no not even close!!!!!! 

 

Take care

Jennifer

Permalink Reply by Melinda Vesper on October 4, 2011 at 11:57am

Hi Jennifer thank you for making me feel "normal"....LOL... Oh I have to agree with the college comments... But I have to say prior to Brandon leaving - I actually thought I would be just fine...that I would be super excited for him and things would be quieter ...but normal...WELL....I was completely wrong.  I was great until I saw him get on that bus and I lost it.  And it's not the usual run-of - the-mill  feeling....it's a very strange kind of grief.   But it's been a full week and I'm back to feeling excited for him again. 

He was able to call me in between flights going there and then once when he got there and THEN he called this Sunday for 1. 1/2 minutes...  Short but I heard his voice!  It appears he is in the Drum and Bugle Corps Squadron...I don't even think he realizes it.  But I think it's so crazy for them that first week.... my god, I hope he can stick it out.  Sounds pretty tuff.

 

 This is honestly the only place where people understand whats going on.   I am so excited for his graduation - as I am sure he is looking forward to it as well.

Jennifer Miller said:

Melinda

Hang in there, what you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL!!!!!!!  We have all been there and felt the same way!!!!

The Airman you see at graduation in a few weeks will amaze you and make the entire rollercoaster ride completely worth it! Ask Questions, post them on the main wall under these discussions, there is a wealth of info here for you!!!

Oh and the whole going off to college thing...... um ..... no not even close!!!!!! 

 

Take care

Jennifer

Permalink Reply by Shelli Brennan on October 5, 2011 at 12:10pm

This really hits home. My son JT left yesterday. I was fine until the late night address call. We had a plan, he was to call my phone and leave a voicemail. He called my phone and I had to just sit there wanting to answer, but knew he didn't want that. He wanted to leave a voicemail, so we didn't have errors. Well he didn't leave a voicemail, he called his dad's phone. I nudge my husband....answer answer. In his daze he rejected the call. JT called back, Jim was so confused he just held the phone out as JT is stating his address, Jim is just staring at the phone. Whole time I'm thinking this wasn't the plan. Thoughts going thru my head....is he ok? why did he break plan? is he having a hard time and changed the plan because he needed to hear our voice? how am I going to write? I'm panic feeling...I just want to know where my son is. This is 12:03am. His name and address is all he is allowed to say and hangs up. I'm devastated. I have to get outside! Here I am after midnight, in my pjs, in the backyard, bawling.

 

Thank Godness for his recruiter Sgt Colt Kelly Leavenworth, KS. I text him. He reassures me that we are not the first and tells me to contact the BMT Reception Center at Lackland. I did that first thing this morning. Now I'm waiting so impatiently for their response. UUUGGGHHH

Permalink Reply by Shelli Brennan on October 5, 2011 at 12:15pm

Jennifer

 

The college comment is the worst. That's what my daughter keeps saying to me. I tell her that doesn't work for me. I know it's the TIs job to strip him of his hair, all his personal belongings, and probably a lot of pride and dignity right now. That's nothing like sending my child to college.

 

I also know this is for his betterment, but it doesn't stop the saddness of it.

 

Shelli

 

Jennifer Miller said:

Melinda

Hang in there, what you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL!!!!!!!  We have all been there and felt the same way!!!!

The Airman you see at graduation in a few weeks will amaze you and make the entire rollercoaster ride completely worth it! Ask Questions, post them on the main wall under these discussions, there is a wealth of info here for you!!!

Oh and the whole going off to college thing...... um ..... no not even close!!!!!! 

 

Take care

Jennifer

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Miller on October 5, 2011 at 12:51pm

Shellie

BMT ( also refered to Basic Mom Torture) is a roller coaster ride at best... the next 8 weeks will be filled with a series of ups and downs, twists and turns and a lot of waiting and anticipation.  the first 2.5 weeks are very difficult but it will start to get better in week 3 for both you and your Airman..... NOT easier but better.

You will get a post card in the mail in the next few days with his address on it, my advice to you is start writing NOW write everyday... number your letters so that if hes gets several at once he will know which to open first be encouraging and supportive lots of I know you can do this you are strong I am proud of you love you etc.... explain to your mailperson why you are stalking him/her :-)  Carry your phone with you AT ALL TIMES calls can come anytime befor 9pm Central ( that is Lights out) they may have 5 minutes they may have fifteen it all depends on the TI. 

Make plans for graduation Believe me this makes all this worth it!!!!!!!!!

Ask questions everyone here is in different stages of thier AF Mom career and we are a wealth of info!

Hang in there you will both get thru this

Jennifer

Permalink Reply by Melinda Vesper on October 6, 2011 at 4:55pm

Ahhh Shelli....  I'm with ya!  I cried and cried and I'm not normally a crier....but it's a very odd feeling . Then you worry.  But then you will have these moments of clarity and you will know that he's going to be taken care of by his new family.  His TI is not going to let anything happen to his men.  He's getting yelled at...but he's okay.  He probably misses home....but he's okay.  His muscles hurt and his feelings might get hurt...but he's okay.  He's learning how to make his bed, keep his things really really tidy and he's learning respect.  Just remember.  It's takes a little while for those TI's to break all of those bad civilian habits.   He's a soldier now.  He's YOUR soldier.  He needs your support. 

Try not to worry and try to stay calm.  Be strong.  Youre a military mom now!! 

 

Shelli Brennan said:

This really hits home. My son JT left yesterday. I was fine until the late night address call. We had a plan, he was to call my phone and leave a voicemail. He called my phone and I had to just sit there wanting to answer, but knew he didn't want that. He wanted to leave a voicemail, so we didn't have errors. Well he didn't leave a voicemail, he called his dad's phone. I nudge my husband....answer answer. In his daze he rejected the call. JT called back, Jim was so confused he just held the phone out as JT is stating his address, Jim is just staring at the phone. Whole time I'm thinking this wasn't the plan. Thoughts going thru my head....is he ok? why did he break plan? is he having a hard time and changed the plan because he needed to hear our voice? how am I going to write? I'm panic feeling...I just want to know where my son is. This is 12:03am. His name and address is all he is allowed to say and hangs up. I'm devastated. I have to get outside! Here I am after midnight, in my pjs, in the backyard, bawling.

 

Thank Godness for his recruiter Sgt Colt Kelly Leavenworth, KS. I text him. He reassures me that we are not the first and tells me to contact the BMT Reception Center at Lackland. I did that first thing this morning. Now I'm waiting so impatiently for their response. UUUGGGHHH

Permalink Reply by Lori A Lopez on October 10, 2011 at 4:35pm

Melinda,

I started to cry when I read your post.  I remember when my son (also Brandon) left on May 2, 2011.  I was stunned, he is my oldest, but it didn't matter, I saw my baby walking away.  I just found this site, group and I really wish that I had it when he left.  My husband is a Marine, and he gave a different support, I needed to talk to other mothers that were going through what we were going through. 

My son graduated on October 7th, 2011 and it was such a proud moment.  Right now you are probably looking forward to the phone call.  They come usually once a week, if they haven't broken any rules, and they are only about 10 minutes.  My son had to talk to me, his dad and girlfriend, so he had to split the calls weekly so he could talk to all of us.

On thing I know they really look forward to is letters.  My son said that he would look forward to the nightly mail because after a long hard day, he wanted to know what was going on at home.  I would send him a letter every other day just so he had something to read, let him know what our daily activities had been, etc.  My Brandon had 3 younger brothers, so I would fill him in on their daily activities, and even had his younger brothers write him letters.  That helped him through the rough patch.

I would like to be your friend/supporter.  I also welcome you to the Air Force Family,  I also would like to thank your son for his service.

Lori

 

Permalink Reply by Diane S. on November 11, 2011 at 1:10pm

 

Hi Melinda.  It was nice to read what you had to say.   My son left on 11-8-11 and this is week 0 for us.  I am feeling exactly how you felt.  I usually have a cry at night and sometimes in the day when I am alone.  My biggest worry if he will be able to handle it?  He is my only child and has not had many life experiences.  If I only knew he was doing ok I could deal with my emotions better.  What week is your son in now?  How are you both doing now?  Thanks Diane

Permalink Reply by Melinda Vesper on November 11, 2011 at 10:06pm

11-11-11.....Well it's been SEVEN weeks now.  My son Brandon just finished BEAST week and he will be graduating the day after Thanksgiving. WOW!  I can't believe it.   I am counting down the days.  I won't lie, I still cry sometimes. But it's because I am so very proud of my Airman.  And of course, I miss him terribly.  If I had to try to describe the past two months in one word, I couldn't do it.  And I also couldn't have done it without my new Air Force Family.  I found this site which lead me to AF Wing Moms on facebook.  NOW I talk to other mothers who are in the same flight as my son.  We talk many times per day, we give each other encouragement, and a ton of good laughs.  

I understand the pure heartache each of you feel right now.  Please give yourself some time .  AND YOU MUST give some of that precious time to the support sites as well.  Because I promise  YOU WILL BE WATCHING YOUR AIRMAN GRADUATE very shortly.  The time moves pretty slow the first couple of weeks.  And before you know it they are calling you telling you how much they like their wingman, your many letters, their MTI, that it's getting easier, the food is really good...and on and on.  

Don't get me wrong.  I miss Brandon so much.   I got my first picture of him in the mail just last week.  WOW...what a handsome Airman.  I cry every time I look at that picture. lol..     But because of everyone here and the other sites....I don't feel lost, or by myself anymore. 

I think being an Wingmom requires a lot of prayers...lol. 

 

HANG IN THERE WINGMOMS!!!  Write to your airman everyday, talk to other wingmoms CONSTANTLY and try to relax.  Everything is going to be okay. 

 

I love you guys.

Permalink Reply by Diane S. on November 13, 2011 at 5:46am

I am happy for you Melinda.  You don't have to much longer to go.  Thank you for the encouraging words.  Congatulations to Brandon!

Permalink Reply by Nora J Black-Bellon on November 26, 2011 at 1:02am

I feel the same way My youngest daughter just left for airforce bootcamp Monday an my Middle daughter leaves for Deployment dec 3rd with the Navy (this is her second deployment) I feel as though nobody around me even has a clue how i feel!! But with there sites it makes things feel better an ALOT of Prayer!

 

Permalink Reply by Tracy Louise Ricard on December 1, 2011 at 4:37pm

hello

  I am so glad to know i am not alone, My son just left for Lackland AFB on The 21 st of November, I am having a really really hard time with this, I was so proud of him , and still am , the day he got offically sworn in we went to MEPS with him to do a priviate swearing in , took pictures and was so pround, then he left on the bus to the airport and I cried and cried, it has been almost 2 weeks and it is not getting any better, he is 23 and still lives at home , he is my youngest. he will be a airborne crytolinquist.

He called on sunday , and i was not home so he tried my daughter , got her and she called us latter that night to say he sounded so sad and kept trying not to cry , he said he was homesick and this is the hardest thing he has every had to do,

 

now i can't sleep i worry all the time , i feel like i just abandoned him, and I am so proud of him one minute and the

next i wonder if should not have encouraged him to do this,  and not knowing if he is okay is really  hard.

 

He was so excited about going , he said they made him some kind of leader not sure what but everytime someone messes up he has to do push-ups

 

will this get better for us moms?

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