Deployment

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Vernessa Neu on October 29, 2011 at 11:33pm

Maret, sorry to hear that your husband is away. There is no one answer of how to deal with the emotions and day to day responsibilites. We each have to find what works for us. For me, the first time was the toughest as far as me crying all of time and feeling helpless. It will get a bit easier to deal with as time goes on.

For our first deployment, I dropped him off, came home and checked the mail. In the mail box was our monthly bank statement. I remember looking at that statement and crying thinking to myself "just 6 more of these and he will be home." So each month that I got a statement in the mail I knew that I had survived another four weeks.

I would do 30-day count downs until the next bank statement rather than a 6-month count down. It felt good to say to myself that I had survived another month without him being home. And 30 days seemed so much more attainable than 180 days. So that is what helped me get thru the first deployment.

When that wasn't enough I would take on new projects. For example, I found myself a job working from home, I started walking in the mornings and evenings, I volunteered at my kid's school, and I wrote my husband letters. All of these things helped me get thru the day.

But before I did any of these things....I allowed myself a good, hard, I feel so sorry for myself cry. I needed to get that out of my system so I could move forward with taking care of the family.

Other things that helped me were talking to other wives that had husband's deployed and talking to our family.

Best wishes!

Permalink Reply by Leslie Wojcik on December 12, 2011 at 2:54pm

I'm in the same boat, my husband is leaving in January for a 400 day deployment and although we've been through deployment before this one's much harder because we've moved to a new state with no family around.  I have a few friends but he's also in a new unit so I haven't even met any other wives.  Once I calm down, I plan to take it one day at a time, and know that some days are going to be horrible and others will not.  In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on him and be as positive as possible.  Best of luck to you and your family.