I'm not much of a blogger, I typically like to sit down and write my thoughts out. Seems to get me to think a little bit more about how I'm feelng, but typing IS a lot faster :) I'm 22 years old,…

I'm not much of a blogger, I typically like to sit down and write my thoughts out. Seems to get me to think a little bit more about how I'm feelng, but typing IS a lot faster :)

I'm 22 years old, newly married - just over 2 weeks - and my husbands been deployed for all but the first week we were married. We knew each other for about 3 weeks before we tied the knot, and I know what you're thinking. You probably think it was a little quick for us to get married, but the truth of it is... We are 100% perfect for one another. I was previously engaged to someone else before I met Travis, and I'm glad that relationship ended because I definitely was blinded from seeing the reality of that situation. Travis and I definitely complete each other, and after having that other half of mine around for awhile, needless to say I'm not exactly thrilled that it's 6,000+ miles away.

It's DAY 9, only 115 more days until he comes home. First couple of days were pretty rough for me. Being so new to being married, being happy, enjoying the time I had with my husband..... I felt like it'd been completely ripped away from me in a matter of seconds. My stepmom worked at WIC on Elmendorf for some time and has helped me somewhat in dealing with the issues of him being gone. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy, but I never expected to feel as terrible and alone as I did since he left. So far, most of my days have been spent at home waiting for one of three family members to come home. I sleep for 12 hours or more a day, and I'm scared I'm falling into a bout of depression....not somewhere I really want to be. Everyday I wish that his 124 days would be up and I can meet him at the airport! I tried my hardest to be strong while he was getting ready to leave, and to be strong while he was waiting for days to board a plane to Kuwait. I'll admit I didn't do the greatest job of keeping it together. The biggest regret of my life. I just wish he had come with a handbook on how to deal with stuff like that! The morning I dropped him off at the airport to fly across the country, was the hardest for me. I left a few minutes before he actually boarded the plane because I didn't want him to see me break down. I couldn't stand watching him walk away, or him seeing me break down emotionally. Probably the worst morning of my life. The next day was even worse, I spent a lot of it on the couch, trying to pry my brain off of whether or not he'd made it, watching t.v. nonstop til I was too tired to turn it off.... hardly eating anything... Sucky day. I'd laid in bed, looking around our room, seeing everything there reminded me that he wasn't going to be home for quite some time. I was never emotionally prepared for anything like this.

Good thing the summer's here in Alaska literally fly by, and are gone before you know it. That's the only thing that's got my spirits up for the time being. I know I'll spend a lot of time fishing and making sure that I'm making a good use of the days that are nice enough to go enjoy the outdoors. I just wish it would have been with Travis. Our first summer married is spent apart? Most of our first 5 months of marriage is spent apart? I guess that God is testing the both of us here, and I know deep in my heart that we'll manage through this. The toughest part of our marriage is going to be these next few months, but in the end it'll make his time home much more enjoyable.

I love my husband and I'm trying my hardest to stand behind him and support him as much as I can while he's gone. I created a facebook page for him to keep friends and family updated on how he's doing, and asked everyone I knew to send something and show their support along with me. Today's been pretty uneventful, but even after sitting here writing all of this... I can't help but be proud of my husband and thankful that God brought us together (even if it was on such short notice!) I will say I feel 10 x's better than I did before I started writing this blog. Somehow, keeping it to myself wasn't the right answer for this one.

I will say that I'm glad I was sitting down watching lifetime last night, because I saw the commercial for NAMMAS.. and I think that was God calling me to here, to a safehaven where I'm not the only one out there who's dealt with the same things I'm dealing with now. Just wish it was a little bit easier and that I could fast forward time. Thank you for this website, finally found what my heart and soul has been looking for!

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Comment by Lindsey Rumsey on June 20, 2010 at 11:56pm: The funny thing is that most of the military wives I've met, typically share the same story. Met their husbands, and then weeks, sometimes months, later, they tie the knot. I must say, my story is somewhat similar, but not altogether. My husband and I worked together for a year and a half before he FINALLY decided that he was going to get up the guts to ask me out. I didn't want to go out with him for that year and a half anyway because he had a lot of drama and back and forth bull with his daughter's mother and I really didn't want to get into the middle of any of that at all. Like I said though, we worked together, but we never really knew each other. We started dating in December 2008, and we tied the knot on February 2, 2009. A few months later, he was sent off to Iraq, so I COMPLETELY understand how you're feeling. It's as if there wasn't enough time to even ENJOY newlywed life. Instead, your spending all of that precious time, worrying, crying, praying, and, biggest of all, waiting. My husband's been gone for over 300 days now, and some days seemed like they NEVER ended, yet a week would go by, and it was just amazing how I didn't even notice.

Some ways I've kept myself busy, is by trying to find other military wives (with deployed husbands or not, didn't matter) and connecting friendships there. Even if their husband isn't on deployment, maybe never has been, they still understand 100x better than civilian wives can truly understand. It's horrible to say, I know, but it's very true. I've insulted many wives, because I make it clear that I agree that they can empathize, but they can never truly understand how hard it REALLY is. They can understand and fathom the missing them part. But, I don't think many civilian wives really know what it's like to go days, sometimes weeks, without hearing from their husbands, wondering if they're safe or if something happened and news just hasn't gotten home yet.

Another way I keep myself busy is I'll look up all the local venues, close beaches, and even Farmer's Markets and such, and just plan a day spent there. I avoid malls, movies, and those things. I try to do different things that I don't do every day, so it's kind of like a new adventure. When I do local searches, I look for anything within 3 hours. That way it's always possible to have something new, and if the place is 2 hours away, well then that's 4 hours spent already. On the longer trips, I made different playlists on my iPod of older music (if you don't have an iPod, there's always making your own CD's haha) that I have from back in the day, like elementary and middle school, and I rock out to those. That way, I'm thinking about my husband, but the music isn't giving me the gut wrenching I miss him so much kind of thinking about him. It's more like I think about what he'd be saying to me, or how hard he'd be laughing at me as I sing at the top of my lungs (terribly I might add) "Tearin' Up My Heart" by 'N Sync, or anything like it. And it just puts me in a better mood.

Just some ideas! I hope they help. And as the cliche goes, "It'll be over before you know it!" My husband comes home in 6 weeks. It's hard to believe he's been gone almost a year!

Comment by Autumn Featherkile on June 9, 2010 at 2:40pm: 3 weeks is short. I use to catch crap for knowing my husband only 3 1/2 months before we got married, but we have been together for 8 1/2 years now so people keep their mouth shut. Just a bit of encouragement, my grandparents knew each other for 1 week before waking up the justice of the peace at 2 am so they could tie the knot. They were married 49 years before she passed this year from cancer. The amount of time you know your spouse before you marry isn't a deciding factor on whether you will last.
As far as the deployment goes, I think they do get easier. People say they never get easier but you have to find what works for you and stay positive. I know that God uses my husbands deployments to grow me in ways he couldn't with my husband home. He reminds me that I should be dependent on HIM, not my husband. I get re-focused on God and my relationship with him while my husband is gone. Does it still hurt to see him go? Yes. Do I still have my bad days where I'm just holding it together long enough to get the kids in bed so I can fall apart into tears on the bathroom floor without them seeing? Yes. But there are other times when I pump myself up over silly things (then laugh about it) like "Ooo, My favorite recipe! DH hates this recipe and I haven't had it since....his last deployment! Woohoo, it's grandma's stew tonight!"
There are support groups and help if you need them. If you don't know how all of the military stuff works, the family support center (not sure what the AF calls it, cause I'm Navy) on the base usually has classes for new spouses to teach you the in's and out's and all those crazy acronyms. Stay busy. Buy lots of cards and send them twice as often as care packages. There are a lot of creative wives out there that come up with some awesome ideas for passing the time and staying in touch.

Comment by Shannon Marie Bell on May 15, 2010 at 2:00pm: I totally understand how you feel. My husband of 6 months is about to deploy here in the next 2 months. I know it is very hard to deal with it. I have been told by friends that I should be used to it because I was with him through 2 other deployments, but to tell you the truth you never get used to it. I cry my eyes out every time he deploys. We just POSed to Maxwell/Gunter a few months ago from Buckley and I am just now getting used to all the hot weather and the all the friendly southern people. I will have to pack up my stuff and our daughters stuff to head back to Colorado for at least 6 months. I do wish you luck and I just want to let you know that I understand your pain and I know how you feel about falling in love so quick....I also fell in love with him quick yea it took us 5 years and a baby to get married. What does hurt me the most is that he will miss his daughter's first word, first steps, first tooth. I will pray for you and your new husband that he comes home soon so you don't have to wait long. God Bless you hun!